January 2011
18 posts
Wow, Egypt.
I wanna come see you and this is what you do?
“What, are you in the P.L.O now?”
– Kelley, on my keffiyeh. Well, I sure as hell don’t wear it because I’m a hipster.
Studying with Heidi
HEIDI: “What the heck is this? How do I know what Thomas Jefferson was thinking when he wrote this?”
ME: “He was really just thinking that he wants to bang his slaves.”
Boy: (Called another boy n**ger in passing)
Me: No, please don’t say that word in here. I don’t like it.
Boy: Sorry, Miss Campbell. What if I say, “fo’ shizzle my nizzle?”
Me: You can say “fo’ shizzle my nizzle dizzle it’s rizzle in this pizzle” all day long, but if I hear you say that word again I’m gonna write your shizzle up on a...
“Wow, I kinda tower over you guys. This must be what Khloe Kardashian feels like.”
– Me, to Heidi and Liz. They’re just so tiny….
So my dad registered me for Jeopardy. I have to take a qualifying test on February 8. I guess he thinks I’m smart or something.
Which is awesome.
My Loan Money Finally Came Through
I Love My Kids
Boy (6th grade): Miss Campbell, when I go on my first date one day, I’m gonna take my girl to Golden Corral.
Me:….For the love of God, Devonte, please, please don’t ever take a girl to Golden Corral.
An Update on my Semester of Awesomeness
I’m writing a bunch of stuff tonight because I realized that my last posts were all Christmas-related and are no longer relevant.
Pffffh…What am I saying? The Grinch is always relevant.
No, really, though…it is. Think about it.
While you’re doing that, I will provide a brief update about how awesome my semester is.
First, the department ruled that Prousis created a...
Can I just say that I don’t appreciate when people give other people bitch faces during class? If someone says something stupid during discussion or makes a statement that you disagree with, either dispute them in discussion, silently call them stupid in your head, or talk about how stupid they are with your friends after class.
But audibly scoffing and making faces while they’re...
“Miss Campbell, will you marry me when I turn eighteen?”
– One of my adorable eighth graders.
So I began filling out an application for the Peace Corps.
You know.
Just in case.
Why butt-dialing can be dangerous.
DAD.
[SWAT team sent to school after man butt-dials wife, who thought he was being held hostage. Turns out it was rap music.]