December 2009
24 posts
“Dad, if you toot on Aunt Lizzy one more time, just ONE more time, I’m...”
– Lyric, my three-year-old niece, on my older brother “tooting” near me.
socks
I have fallen down the stairs three times this week.
Something about socks on hardwood floors.
Makes me a tumbler.
See what I did there?
Haha.
Brother and niece
Lyric: Daaaad! Stoooooopp it!
Jesse: Stop what?
Lyric: Stop calling me Donkey Sauce!
Jesse: I didn't call you Donkey Sauce.
Lyric: ......You didn't?
My three-year-old niece
Me: What's this?
Lyric: A booger.
Me: Why are you giving me this?
Lyric: So you can keep it safe for me.
ammonia sucks
Well, the ammonia levels in my new fish tank are entirely to high, so back in the bowl Frank and Barnum go, which sucks because I wanted them to have an awesome fish tank to live in instead of a small glass bowl.
Soooo, I think I’ll get them that Biorb bowl when I get back to Jacksonville. They deserve it, those little troopers.
The stability of my stack of books rests precariously upon Franz Kafka.
Kenneth Koch
ALIVE FOR AN INSTANT
I have a bird in my head and a pig in my stomach
And a flower in my genitals and a tiger in my genitals
And a lion in my genitals and I am after you but I have a
song in my heart
And my song is a dove
I have man in my hands I have a woman in my shoes
I have a landmark decision in my reason
I have a death rattle in my nose I have summer in my
brain...
ANIMALS
Have you forgotten what we were like then
when we were still first rate
and the day came fat with an apple in its mouth
it's no use worrying about Time
but we did have a few tricks up our sleeves
and turned some sharp corners
the whole pasture looked like our meal
we didn't need...
Fin.
Finally.
Books read, presentations given, papers submitted. Now I can finally relax, sleep normally, read for fun, organize my life, and prepare to get back on this crazy ride come January. I’m doing this because I love history. I’m doing this because I love history. I’m doing this because I love history. I’m doing this because I love history. I’m doing this because...
I’m so tired of this paper about witchcraft that I’d like to tie IT to a stake and burn it.
Kindle
Sorry, Kindle.
I love the smell of books way too much.
Watching Football With My Dad
Me: What's that sign say? "NBC: Nordes Better with purple Cheese?" What does that even mean?
Dad: I don't know. Kinda confusing.
Me: It seems like if a sign is that confusing it shouldn't be at a football game.
Dad: I think it means that the Vikings are better with Brett Favre, who used to be a Packer. So he used to be a cheese head, but now the cheese is purple.
Me: Again, something you have to think about that hard doesn't belong on a football sign.
Dad: I know. They might as well hold up a Sudoku puzzle.
“You cried? Really? That’s what you did? You cried? Wow.”
– Heidi (on Tim Tebow crying)
Adventures in Substituting
Girl: Ms. Campbell, what does 'pity' mean?
Me: Can anyone use the word 'pity' in a sentence that explains its meaning?
Boy: I can! "You look very pity today."